N Blog (2012-06-06 23:46:47) – ‘2012/06/06’

Original Entry
(2012-06-06 23:46:47)

Everyone,
I’m so very, very,
Very thankful towards all of you.

It was mortifying. My name not being called was mortifying.

At the handshake events, the comments were always

“I voted for you!”
“We believe in you!”
“From now on, always smile!”

And that’s how we last met.

Frantically going to CD shops
And then going to vote.
Was what everyone did at the time…

I know that everyone did this just for me.
I have to say I’m sorry,
But I’m very thankful.

To be honest,
That’s what I wanted to say on that stage.

Would I do it?
Would I get to do it?

I am really glad, though.
I looked towards the fans, because I knew it all was hard for everyone,
So I was glad.

My family, too.

Up until now, I hadn’t spoken with my father before the event,
But I got an e-mail from him
At the checkpoint.

My sister.

She told me that
No matter what was happening, luck would find a way to come for me.

My mother said

She has no choice but to think that
I am first place.

She said that she had to say that
To show me what everyone was thinking.

I held that in my heart.

I stopped myself from crying when it was all over,
And when I saw the others from my office,
I couldn’t cry.

I’ve been given so many chances and so much advice…
I felt like it was no good just
To work harder.

I
Am a complex bundle.

I couldn’t admit that to myself.

This place is full of honesty and suspicion.
I didn’t have the self-confidence.

But with talk of those things, I know
That many others felt the same way about losing.

Since April I’ve had the privilege of broadcasting the weather,
And I study for it diligently each time.

I like to think
That I’m the best at it,
And it’s a chance to work hard.

Being able to work hard in AKB by doing the weather… I’m a really fortunate individual to have that opportunity.

I’ve gotten to really digest this happiness
Over the past year –

I get to receive everyone’s love
And gratitude, and
Then get to share that love again
With everyone.

Everyone
Is so loving.

It’s my
Biggest dream.

Thank you so much
For your love, everyone.

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